Ain't No Sunshine
by uglychui
Summary: Shepard and Garrus figure out where they're standing with each other.


Shepard was confused and a little hurt. And that didn't happen often. But it was happening now and she was starting to get annoyed.

Shepard had been trying to hail Garrus all day, as both his commanding officer and lover, but had been ignored. At first, she had tried to shrug it off. Garrus was an adult with adult problems and didn't need to answer her every call like a servant. And she could never forget but there was a galaxy-wide war going on with synthetic beings that wanted to end all organic life. _Of course_ he had other things to do.

But she had been preoccupied all week with ambassadors and Alliance brass and goddamn politics, and Garrus had been spent all his time in the War Room advising the Primarch about the Reapers and delegating Palaven's troops. They'd hardly seen each other at all. She may very well have left him on Menae— that's how often they saw each other.

And now that she finally had some time to breathe, she wanted to see and mack on her goddamn boyfriend. She had thought him to be with the Primarch, but when she entered his domain in the War Room, the Primarch was alone.

"Commander." His head bowed just a fraction in greeting.

"Primarch," she nodded back. "I apologize, I don't mean to interrupt you, but I seem to have lost track of one of my subordinates."

The Primarch merely chuckled. "Commander, I think we're past the point of such formality. You can say you're looking for your lover; I can promise no judgment."

She tried to keep her expression neutral, but she was sure her darkening face gave her away. She opened her mouth— to say what, she didn't know— but nothing came out.

He continued on, in a much more gentle and somber tone, "Do not be ashamed. We're in what may very well be the end of the galaxy as we know it. Now would be the most appropriate time to love."

She gave him a pointed look. "I'm not ashamed of our relationship, Primarch. I do, however, try to maintain a certain level of professionalism." Silence commenced as she stared him down. To his credit, the Primarch coolly held her gaze, not feeling threatened in the slightest. She relented and her lips curled up into a lop-sided grin. "But with your consent and all due respect, where the hell is my boyfriend?"

"Vakarian left some twenty minutes prior. I did not ask where." He turned away, hands clasped behind his back, his mandibles flicking out. "He… seemed to have a lot on his mind."

The commander raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

The Primarch swiped his fingers over the console and the hologram of their galactic readiness glowed a fierce blue. "'Oh', indeed, Commander."

When it was obvious that he wasn't going to say any more on the subject, Shepard turned to leave. As the door hissed open, she thought she heard a fond chuckle.

While waiting for the scan to complete in the junction between the War Room and CIC, EDI's voice echoed in the room. "Shepard, if you wish to locate Garrus, he is—"

Shepard instinctively looked up at the ceiling and smiled. "No, it's alright, EDI. I'll find him. Thanks for offering though."

After fifteen minutes of searching all of the rooms on the crew deck and her quarters, she was starting to regret not enlisting EDI's help. She strode into engineering with an agitated stomp to her step, interrupting Adams and Daniels' teasing of Donnelly crawling around in the ducts.

Adams blinked at her arrival. "Is there anything we can do for you, Commander?"

Shepard inhaled and prepared herself for the answer she knew was coming. "Have you guys seen Garrus?"

Daniels turned from the console. "No." Shepard's shoulders dropped. "But he did comm Tali to meet him in the shuttle bay."

She let out the breath she was holding and stood a little straighter. "Shuttle bay. Gotcha. Thanks, Daniels."

"Glad I could help, Commander."

As the elevator descended to the shuttle bay, she heard a faint whirring sound that grew louder as she got closer. When the doors opened, the whirring increased, the steel of the doors no longer muffling it. She glanced around for the source of the sound but couldn't see anything out of place.

She walked up to Cortez and tapped on his shoulder. "Two questions: have you seen Garrus and what the hell is that sound?"

He leaned towards her ear and pointed to the far end of the shuttle bay, behind the Kodiak. "I believe the answer to both of your questions is over there, Commander." He turned back to his work, shaking his head.

Frowning, she followed Cortez's finger and found Tali covering where her ears would be with her hands, hovering over Garrus— who was hunched over with a melding tool and a thin strip of polished metal. When Tali noticed Shepard, her hand shot out to Garrus' shoulder, slapping him numerous times when he ignored her initial taps.

"Shepard! Hi!" Tali squeaked. Her unusually high pitch pierced Shepard's ears, and she winced. It must have hurt Garrus as well, because he stopped instantly and looked up at Tali, who was doing a terrible job of subtly warning him of Shepard's arrival. He realized too late that she was staring past him and spun around, dropping the melding tool in his haste to stand.

"Shepard! I, uhh, I wasn't expecting you," he stammered.

She raised an eyebrow. "I didn't realize I needed to set an appointment. I can come back…?"

Tali shook her head. "No need, Shepard. He's just fixing a part of my suit." She made eye contact with Garrus, pointedly trying to relay him a message, to which he nodded to. "I usually do it myself, but he's better with hand tools than I am. I always cut my suit somehow."

Shepard glanced at Garrus, who kept nodding whenever Tali finished a sentence. "Tali, you're getting better at lying, but you're not that good yet." At that, both Tali and Garrus tensed up. "I admit, I'm a little curious but I'll let you off the hook this time."

Tali relaxed visibly and excused herself, leaving Garrus alone with her. Despite the tension in the air, his mandibles fanned out in a smile, and he gently placed a hand behind her neck, tilting her head so he could touch his forehead to hers and nuzzle it.

"I know you want answers, but not right now. Not while I'm still working on it."

She nodded, her previously sour mood dissipating. "Okay then. I won't ask." She gave him a light peck on his mouth plates. "I missed you."

He hummed, sending soothing vibrations through her body. "If I were you, I'd miss me too." She scoffed and playfully slapped his chest, rolling her eyes. He chuckled and brought his hand up to cover hers on his chest. His mandible nuzzled her temple and he kissed her forehead before placing his forehead back on hers. His sapphire eyes met her emeralds, and her smile widened at the deep warmth she saw in them. "I missed you too."

* * *

When Garrus asked her if she was ready to be a one-turian kind of woman, Shepard almost barked out a laugh. She'd been ready since she'd propositioned him before the Omega-4 Relay. In fact, she'd been ready for far longer than she'd care to admit. But she indulged him in an answer. Some things needed to be said, after all.

She decided to be truthful— no humor, no sarcasm. "The only thing that made leaving Earth bearable was knowing you were out there somewhere."

"I felt the same way. The worst part about the galaxy going to hell would've been never getting to see you again." She'd never admit it, but those words made her heart swell. Feeling bold, she took a step closer into his personal space.

"Well, here I am. Exactly where I want to be." Her eyes locked onto his, ensuring he wouldn't miss a word she said. "I love you, Garrus Vakarian."

His mandibles splayed out and he purred, giving her what she could only call bedroom eyes. "Well. The vids Joker gave me… they never got this far." Shepard jerked her head back and tilted it in warning; Joker was going to get the greatest bone-breaking beating of his life. "But the vids Vega gave me did." And she lost composure trying to imagine Vega popping on a cheesy romantic vid, startling herself into a fit of laughter as Garrus watched her with plain adoration. "Is this the part where I take the ring out?" And her laughter faded, replaced with disbelief.

 _No… he didn't. Did he… really?_

She found herself stuttering and blushing like a lovesick teenager. "G-Garrus, I…"

"Because I don't have one," he shrugged unapologetically. And she could have murdered him right there— extreme, soul-wrenching, crippling heartbreak be damned.

Enraged beyond belief, she brought up a finger and shook it at him, accusingly. "Garrus-fucking-piece-of-shit-Vakarian, I've _definitely_ killed for less—"

Instead of trying to explain himself, he grabbed her left hand and she felt something snug slide onto her ring finger. When he gingerly pulled his hand back, she brought her hand up and saw a titanium-silver band with a thin, distinct cobalt-blue stripe running through the middle, adorned with a small but carefully cut polished ruby-red stone occupying her finger. It took her overworked brain a minute to figure out what it was, the absurdity of the situation catching up to her. She looked back to Garrus with wet eyes and a bobbing throat working overtime to choke back her sobs.

Garrus smiled his sweet smile— sharp teeth and all— and the devotion in his eyes melted her and brought the building tears down her cheeks. He brought his hands up and cupped both of her cheeks, wiping them. Purring like a motor, he brought his forehead down to meet hers.

"The asari… once upon a time, they called Palaven a 'silver world of fortresses and fire.' Now I'm not one to spout poetry, but…" He cleared his throat nervously. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that… with you, I feel like I'm home. More at home than I've ever felt. And I…" He took a shaky breath.

"Shepard… love of my life." A broken laugh escaped her lips. "Will you marry me?"

She couldn't help it; she broke out in disgusting snotty sobs, fervently nodding her answer. Garrus wrapped his arms around her and brought her in for a snug hug, planting kisses on the top of her head.

"There, there."

She found enough strength to slap his chest. "You _ass_ ," she mumbled into his chest.

His chest rumbled with pure elation and he held her closer. "I love you, too, sweetheart."

* * *

"Shepard. So, I guess this is…" His voice trailed off, not wanting to finalize his words. There were too many words to say— too much left unsaid. Thankfully, Shepard caught his hesitance and continued for him.

"Just like old times?" She even offered him a smile.

He knew he couldn't put off the possibility of neither of them returning. Not when they were so close to the end. He tried to stall, humming and forcing out a chuckle. "Might be the last chance we get to say that."

"Think we're going to lose?"

"No," he willed himself to believe. "I think we're about to kick the Reapers back into whatever black hole they crawled out of. Then…" He flared out his mandibles as he thought out one of his untold fantasies. "…we're going to retire somewhere warm and tropical and live off the royalties from the vids." He debated on whether he should continue this fantasy out loud but gave in to blind hope. "Maybe even find out what a turian-human baby looks like."

Shepard— _Spirits bless her soul_ — indulged him. "I'm game. Though I think adoption's a better idea— biology may not cooperate."

"We're Shepard-Vakarians." He reached for the chain around her neck, filing through her dog tags until he found the ring. "I'm sure we'll make it work somehow."

She raised an eyebrow and gave him a warm genuine smile. "Shepard-Vakarian? I like the sound of that." Her smile faded just as fast as it had come. "We just have to beat the Reapers first."

Garrus recalled a previous conversation he'd had that seemed relevant now. "James told me there's an old saying here on Earth: 'May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.'" He pushed past the fear of a world without her and into the realm of realism. "Not sure if turian heaven is the same as yours, but if this thing goes sideways and we both end up there… meet me at the bar. I'm buying."

He saw a little of the same fear in him creep into her eyes as she answered, "We're a team, Garrus. There's no Shepard without Vakarian, so you better remember to duck."

"Sorry, turians don't know how. But I'll improvise." He couldn't do it anymore. "Forgive the insubordination, but your boyfriend has an order for you: come back alive," he all but begged. "It'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you."

She must have heard the desperation bleeding into his words because she stepped forward and placed her lips on his, equally as desperate for contact. They lost themselves in the kiss, if only for a moment—his hands on her hips and hers coming up to rest on his shoulders.

Then she said the words he'd dreaded all this time: "Goodbye, Garrus." He couldn't hold back his keen. "And if I'm up there in that bar and you're not— I'll be looking down. You'll never be alone."

And he watched her leave his side, killing him with each self-sacrificing step she took.

"Never."

* * *

For the first time in months, he felt the pressure of her hand gripping his. And for the first time in months, he saw the clarity of emerald eyes lovingly looking down at him. He held his breath, wondering if this was yet another torturous dream. And then he heard her voice— cracked and hoarse and beautiful and everything he had missed— and cried like a babe.


End file.
